Friday, December 28, 2012

Fat Sales and Christmas Tales.

So, my dears, it has been... a while. I really have no excuse, unless battling once again with depression and anxiety is an excuse (which, honestly, it probably is a pretty good excuse, but I'm trying to part with excuses all together). Enough about that, though!

I come back to this blog with an exciting announcement regarding something that I've been working on for the last few months: Fat Sale.

Fat Sale is the place to buy and sell plus size clothing. It's like a big, awesome online consignment store for only sizes 14+. At Fat Sale you can find clothes that are affordable, attractive, and most importantly: in your size! When you're plus sized, shopping can seriously be a nightmare. It can be downright impossible to find clothes that both 1) fit and 2) are affordable (I'm looking at you, Lane Bryant, with your $25 dollar tank tops). That's why I came up with the idea of Fat Sale. Similar communities have existed before, but my problem with those is that they're all either sadly essentially dead (RIP Livejournal's popularity) or impossibly hard to navigate (Facebook just... does not make a good platform for such a community). Fat Sale aims to address those problems and be the community that fatties deserve!

I initially launched Fat Sale around a month ago and I have been absolutely wowed by its popularity (especially considering it's still just a baby and will just keep getting bigger and better!). As of right now, Fat Sale boasts an impressive 998 followers on Tumblr. And I can't wait to see that number continue to grow.

Help my baby grow! Follow Fat Sale on Tumblr, post about it on Twitter or Facebook, tell your friends, tell your mom, and reblog this promotional post! I really want Fat Sale to succeed and be the absolute best it can be. You can help make that happen!

Also, 'cause I've gotta brag, check out some of the cool stuff I got for Christmas this year! Did you get anything especially rad? Tell me in the comments!

The Walking Dead video game, Heavyweights on DVD, Mad Love, Pokemon 2 Black, and a cute little sushi pouch.

Lots of warm socks (manatee ones even!), a scarf, sushi erasers, pajamas, and Coloring for Grownups.

(Also, a giveaway will soon be coming to Fat Sale once we've hit over 1000 members... and it's going to be a cool one...)


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

3 Products Worth Your Washingtons: Makeup Edition!

So, first of all, the standard apologies about being a terrible blogger are in order! However, I am working on something pretty cool that I think would interest a lot of readers of this blog. More on that coming soon!

If you're like me then you hate spending money on shit that sucks. Sure, it may look nice in its packaging, but I think we've all learned that you can't judge a book by its cover (or a crappy mascara by its nice Helvetica font). To help combat the rampant problem of buying things when we're not sure how they'll work out I've come up with a new little featurette for the blog. Ladies and gentlemen, I humbly present to you: Worth Your Washingtons.

Worth Your Washingtons is going to be a sporadic segment (like, you know, everything else on this blog) where I highlight three products that I would basically marry. These products are good (and I mean it!) Only products that prove to be non-flops and worth every measley penny will be featured, so have faith in this section, you guys. My word is law!

For the very first Worth Your Washingtons, I've decided to focus on some makeup products that have me over the stinkin' moon. These products all have earned a permanent spot in my makeup bag and I highly recommend them (duh).  

1. Eyelid Primer by Elf.
There are a lot of reasons why I like Elf: most of their products (including this primer!) are $1, the quality is great, and I can buy the line at one of my favorite stores where I tend to spend too much time and too much money (Target). I am in love with this primer. I have hooded eyes, so getting eye makeup to stick can be a huge problem. However, this stuff does the trick and saves me from looking like I've been crying hysterically after an hour or two. If it was legal, I would probably marry this stuff. Just sayin'.

2. Garnier BB Cream.
 I know everyone has been up on BB cream's jock lately, but there honestly is good reason for it. It's some good stuff. Now, I have not tried the og Asian BB creams, which I have heard are leaps and bounds better and different than the American brands, but I was still pretty impressed with Garnier's BB cream. It brightened my skin quite a bit (not an easy feat) and helped to camouflage a lot of my scars/dark marks. I'll be hanging onto this one.

No, not that kind of dark mark.

3. Colorstay Creme Gel Eyeliner by Revlon.

Finding eyeliner that STAYS has been one of my lifelong battles. Like I said up top, I have hooded eyes. I also have really high cheekbones, so any kind of eye makeup tends to spread EVERYWHERE ON MY FACE after an hour or two of wear. It is both a ridiculous and stupid phenomenon. However, I have found this to be the holy grail of eyeliners. It stays! It looks good! It's easy to apply (and super great for doing a cat eye)! It's relatively cheap! Baby, I'm in love.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Green Hair.

Hey, remember that one time when I updated my blog and said I'd post pictures of my new hair?

Yeah, me either, but here are some pics:


The picture on the left is shortly after I had it done whereas the picture on the right is more recent. It initially looked more blue, but after a week or so it faded to a more proper green/teal. It's almost been 3 weeks since I had it done and it's holding up really well! Of course, I've also been babying the hell out if it, but y'know.

Bleached and dyed and cut by Wendy at Kaleidoscope in Louisville, Kentucky. If you're in the area and looking for someone who does a good job doin' hair, I'd definitely recommend Wendy at Kaleidoscope. Everyone there is super sweet and they do a great job!

The color is Sonic Green by Special Effects. Sorry for the crappy quality pics, but y'know...


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The Frilly Fight Club.

Sorry things have been so quiet over here lately! My plan to be crazy productive with my updates this summer has been a little derailed by my online classes (which are, honestly, stupidly demanding). I've been writing 10 page responses and taking a 50 multiple question exam every day, so once I'm done with that I typically haven't wanted anything to do with the computer!

Since I last updated, I was featured in the gallery for a nifty little article on the Fatshionista Flickr group for HLN + have been planning on adding some turquoise to my mane. I have an appointment to get it cut and colored tomorrow and I am. so. excited. I'll definitely post with how that turns out soon!

And because I know you all are craving for some more of me on this thing, here's my latest outfit:

Top (actually a dress!) (old) from Target
Skirt (old) from Target
Boots are thrifted from RePets.
Necklace was a gift.
Gold spike ring is c/o Chubby Cartwheels!

Say rest in peace to this background! Because I'm moving in a week. Whomp whomp.

I am very much in love with this ring that I won in a contest held by the talented Shawna from the lovely Chubby Cartwheels! Seriously. This ring is unlike anything I've ever seen before and it is surprisingly comfortable (and totally badass!) Check out Shawna's stuff, y'all, because it's kind of excellent.

Hopefully I'll have another post up soon! Assuming moving... and getting things together for my birthday party on Saturda... and my online class doesn't kill me softly in the meantime.


Tuesday, June 26, 2012

10 Cute Clearance ASOS Curve Dresses!

I'm a big fan of ASOS Curve - they do cute, trendy, classic plus size pieces that no other plus size retailers seem to be doing and they do them damn well. However, for me, they can sometimes be a bit out of my price range, being that the majority of their stuff is $40-$120.

This week, however, they have their Fourth of July sale going on and TONS of stuff is up to 50% off. Right up my alley! Here are 10 super cute summer dresses that I've been eyeballing/drooling over/hovering my mouse over the 'add to cart' button for.

1. Red Summer Collared Dress - $21.54
2. Yellow Beachy Tunic - $20.71
3. Teal Dress with Dropped Pockets - $24.86

4. Black Peach Print Dress - $37.28
5. White Skater Dress with Aztec Trim - $37.28
6. White Birdcage Dress - $37.28
7. Sunrise Wallpaper Skater Dress - $40.60

8. Gray Tulip Dress - $29.83
9. Black Sweetheart Summer Dress - $24.86
10. Red and White Gingham Picnic Dress - $29.00

The sale ends June 27th at 7PM EST, however, so move fast if you want some of this stuff! ASOS also has a straight size range and even a men's line for those who don't personally identify as a fat budget bitch. Happy window shopping!

**FYI my birthday's coming up (July 16th!) and I'd gladly take any of these in a US20, cough cough! Just. Saying.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Supermarket Sweeped, Again.

You all may remember my post from a couple of months ago where I scored over $40 worth of cosmetics and other fun stuff for a measley 8 bucks and some change at the grocery store (Kroger, specifically).

Well, I've been at it again, and I have to say I've come out pretty equally as awesome.

Items pictured: Revlon Photoready Concealer (in fair), Almay Smart Shade Smart Balance 200 (in light/medium), Revlon Colorstay Gel Eyeliner (in black), and Almay Intense-i-Color shadow (for blue eyes).

Revlon Photoready Concealer (in fair) - Originally $9.99, paid $3.99
Almay Smart Shade Smart Balance 200 (in light/medium) - Originally $11.49, paid $5.00
Revlon Colorstay Gel Eyeliner (in black) - Originally $7.99, paid $3.99
Almay Intense-i-Color shadow (for blue eyes) -Originally $5.99, paid $2.99

Original total:  $35.46
I paid: $15.97

Now, I've heard a lot of people talk a lot of shit about Almay, saying it was just makeup for old people (what does that even mean) or that it was shitty and to put it plainly: I disagree! I have a talc allergy and Almay is a complete lifesaver for me, as it's a hypoallergenic brand that is reasonably priced. For those who don't know, talc is an extremely common ingredient in most eyeshadows (and it is something that causes my eyes to swell like nobody's business and makes me bear a striking resemblance to Renee Zellweger). Almay doesn't use talc, so therefore I like Almay's eyeshadows (even if the main reason is just because they're cheaper than other hypoallerginic brands like Clinique). Because of this, of course I was psyched when I saw that Kroger had some Almay products on clearance.


As another notable note, I seriously encourage EVERYONE to go out and buy some gel eyeliner. The difference it makes is CRAZY when it comes to staying power and smudge avoidance -- and, because I have hooded eyes (something I may post more about in the future), those things are GROSSLY important for me! I had been using just pencils before, but now I don't think I'll ever go back. Thank you, Revlon, and your cheap and amazing gel eyeliner. Seriously, I urge everyone to try it out. Shit is a revelation.

Also, as a sidenote for the other big bitches on a budget out there, Kroger also had some Just My Size black leggings in a size 4X for $2 in their clearance section. I'm not a 4X, so I didn't purchase any, but they're out there for cheap at Kroger! It's worth scanning your local store for some deals for sure.

Friday, June 1, 2012 Review!

So I was in need of some new specs recently and as the cheapskate that I am -- I didn't want to pay 380 dollars again for my whackadoo prescription. So, as I had seen postered all over the internet with their FIRSTPAIRFREE deal, I decided to check out's selection.

And I was pretty pleased! I made a quick video detailing my experience, which you all can watch down below. Sorry for the terrible video quality / my awkward ass -- my in-laptop webcam is kindasorta the worst and talking on a webcam to myself really just brings out my maximum awkwardness potential (MAP).

The glasses I got --  Love L740 Crystal Shadow
Coupon code I used -- FIRSTPAIRFREE

If you have any questions, ask them in the comments! Have any of you ever ordered from or gotten glasses online?

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The (Very) Disgruntled Housewife.

For the last week I've been kicking it solo at my house while my roommate's been out of town and, lemme tell you, it's been a pretty lonely, sad affair (though admittedly most of my dismay is probably due to the fact that I've decided to take a soul sucking 4 hour summer Statistics class that's at 8am every morning). I've been kindasortamaybe using all this downtime to tidy up a bit, hence the inspiration for today's outfit. I've always liked vintage 1940's/1950's fashion (gasp! shock! what a new and exciting preference coming from a blogger!) and I really love when that kind of style is flipped on its head with a modern twist. There's something ironic about cleaning house while wearing this kind of thing when you yourself are not trophy wife material in the least. I'd say it's kind of like flipping off the patriarchy, but I'm not that delusional when it comes to what I put on my body. At the least, I'd like to think I'm at least serving up some old school disgruntled housewife realness.
Blue and white checker dress was thrifted from Goodwill, the shoes were thrifted from RePets (a local thrift shop in Bowling Green where the proceeds go towards taking care of animals in shelters and funding spaying/neutering services for low-income families), and I made the hair scarf in a sewing class I took in the fifth grade (go ahead and be jealous of my elementary school seamstress swag, guys).
A closer look at all the country colors and picnic patterns I have going on here. Lips are 509A by Wet N' Wild - it's a SUPER cheap and solid red lipstick!
Now scram! I have to sweep the kitchen before your father gets home...

as always, thanks for reading, and have a good week!

Friday, May 18, 2012

5 Steps for Trimming Your Bangin' Bangs at Home

Salons are expensive. Everyone likes getting their head massaged and their hair did, but sometimes your pocketbook doesn't have the means to afford it as often as you may want. It can get especially expensive if you have bangs -- those suckers grow fast and they demand frequent attention!  One easy way to cut your yearly costs at the salon is to trim your bangs yourself.

I've been cutting my own bangs for a while now (5+ years) and it's definitely an excellent skill to have. Here's my technique~ when it comes to cutting my bangs.

1) Set up your station.
There's going to be some motherfucking fallout, so it's best to be prepared. I have found that the best place to cut your bangs is in the bathroom directly in front of a mirror. Lay down some paper towel on the area where the hair will fall. If you have a sink in front of your mirror like me then cover the sink with a couple of pieces of paper towel -- this ensures easy and quick clean up of the hair trimmings for my fellow human sloths who can't be bothered with having to wipe down the sink afterwards.

Buffer your bathroom with some Bounty.

2) Use the proper supplies.
This may seem like a no-brainer, but don't try to cut your bangs with a pair of Fiskars. Precision is important! Purchase a pair of personal beauty care scissors. You can easily find them for as cheap as $6 at Walgreens and they are definitely worth the money. In fact, you can probably buy a pair at Dollar Tree for $1 if you really just can't justify dropping $6 on a pair of scissors.

What are you doing?!! NO.

3) Tame your mane.
This goes for curlyheads and non-curlyheads alike - make sure to brush or comb your bangs out before you begin to cut! If you're like me and your bangs tend to flip out/curl then you need to make sure they're all nice and flat and even before you trim. Otherwise you may end up with some crooked ass fringe. The stakes are high, guys. Some people like to wet their bangs down beforehand, but I personally am against that because I feel like it's harder to achieve the length I want since my hair is curly and the length between dry hair and wet hair is radically different. Unlike sex, you're going to want to do it dry.

I prefer to use a fine toothed comb, but any comblike or brushlike thing will do the job. Make like Ariel and use a fork if you want!

4) Get caught in the middle.
Some people say to start cutting your bangs at one end and then slowly make your way to the other side, but I say fuck that. I have found that it's easiest -- and you get an overall more even cut -- if you start in the middle and work your way out. Start between your eyebrows and...

5) Take it slow.
Don't just go crazy with the scissors and start chopping off chunks. Now you can think of it like sex - foreplay is good and so is taking it inch by inch. However, when cutting hair, you're going to want to take it in even smaller increments -- centimeter by centimeter. You can always cut more hair off, but you can't magically grow your bangs back to where you were before you messed up. Take it slow! Just cut little bit after little bit off until you achieve the length you want!

next week's how-to of sorts: So You Messed Up Your Bangs & Now You Want to Shave Your Head

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Super Hip Update Post!

So! I haven't posted in forever and I am a terrible blogger! BUT. That is all soon to change because the semester from hell is over and it is now: SUMMER! And I have some big plans for this blog. This summer, I am going to start updating biweekly (yes, that's right! TWO updates EVERY week!) and I have all sorts of fun ideas in store. Recipes, outfits, shopping, how-to's, and more!

Stayed tuned, babies.

Until then, have some super hip and current Instagram shots of what I've been up to while I've been away (shots of the fun stuff, anyways... not so much with the photo documentation of my many medical afflictions and nervous breakdowns due to school). My instagram ID is sparklingwhine (which is also my name pretty much everywhere else), so feel free to add me!

I can never decide if my school's campus is gorgeous... or creepy... or both.
 For our one year anniversary John and I took a daytrip to the Newport Aquarium, wherein we posed with fake animals instead of real ones.
We saw some pretty cool alive stuff, too, I guess.
I've developed an obsession with veggie fajitas from Garcia's and eating grapefruit (SO. GOOD.)
And sometimes I cook (alcohol and vegetables are the only necessary food groups, right?)
I had a dog roommate named Leo for about a month! Leo is my housemate's dog and we took care of him while her parents were in Europe. I don't think my plan to get him to like me more than my roommate quite worked out, though, but goddamnit did I try.
Other canines that have been in my life lately: my boyfriend's dogs Frosty (or Voldemort, as I lovingly refer to her after she was shaved) and Peanut. You're a liar if you think you've ever seen something cuter than Peanut.
I saw Sharon Needles perform in Nashville with some friends (she was fabulous, of course) and I went to Thunder Over Louisville with John.
More Thunder!
Working at the radio station (, you can always listen online!) has kept me busy (and my iPod full!)
 Bare nails have not been an option lately. There's too much nail polish in the world (and in my vanity) to go bare!
I got a cute little goodie bag from Dani over at DIYFatshion and I've been finally tacking up my poster collection.
And lately I've been digging side ponytails and (as always) stupid faces.

HAGS! and, as always, thanks for reading!
(Have A Good Summer!)