The (Very) Disgruntled Housewife.

For the last week I've been kicking it solo at my house while my roommate's been out of town and, lemme tell you, it's been a pretty lonely, sad affair (though admittedly most of my dismay is probably due to the fact that I've decided to take a soul sucking 4 hour summer Statistics class that's at 8am every morning). I've been kindasortamaybe using all this downtime to tidy up a bit, hence the inspiration for today's outfit. I've always liked vintage 1940's/1950's fashion (gasp! shock! what a new and exciting preference coming from a blogger!) and I really love when that kind of style is flipped on its head with a modern twist. There's something ironic about cleaning house while wearing this kind of thing when you yourself are not trophy wife material in the least. I'd say it's kind of like flipping off the patriarchy, but I'm not that delusional when it comes to what I put on my body. At the least, I'd like to think I'm at least serving up some old school disgruntled housewife realness.

Blue and white checker dress was thrifted from Goodwill, the shoes were thrifted from RePets (a local thrift shop in Bowling Green where the proceeds go towards taking care of animals in shelters and funding spaying/neutering services for low-income families), and I made the hair scarf in a sewing class I took in the fifth grade (go ahead and be jealous of my elementary school seamstress swag, guys).

A closer look at all the country colors and picnic patterns I have going on here. Lips are 509A by Wet N' Wild - it's a SUPER cheap and solid red lipstick!

Now scram! I have to sweep the kitchen before your father gets home...

as always, thanks for reading, and have a good week!
-Michelle

5 Steps for Trimming Your Bangin' Bangs at Home

Salons are expensive. Everyone likes getting their head massaged and their hair did, but sometimes your pocketbook doesn't have the means to afford it as often as you may want. It can get especially expensive if you have bangs -- those suckers grow fast and they demand frequent attention!  One easy way to cut your yearly costs at the salon is to trim your bangs yourself.

I've been cutting my own bangs for a while now (5+ years) and it's definitely an excellent skill to have. Here's my technique~ when it comes to cutting my bangs.

1) Set up your station.
There's going to be some motherfucking fallout, so it's best to be prepared. I have found that the best place to cut your bangs is in the bathroom directly in front of a mirror. Lay down some paper towel on the area where the hair will fall. If you have a sink in front of your mirror like me then cover the sink with a couple of pieces of paper towel -- this ensures easy and quick clean up of the hair trimmings for my fellow human sloths who can't be bothered with having to wipe down the sink afterwards.

Buffer your bathroom with some Bounty.

2) Use the proper supplies.
This may seem like a no-brainer, but don't try to cut your bangs with a pair of Fiskars. Precision is important! Purchase a pair of personal beauty care scissors. You can easily find them for as cheap as $6 at Walgreens and they are definitely worth the money. In fact, you can probably buy a pair at Dollar Tree for $1 if you really just can't justify dropping $6 on a pair of scissors.

What are you doing?!! NO.

3) Tame your mane.
This goes for curlyheads and non-curlyheads alike - make sure to brush or comb your bangs out before you begin to cut! If you're like me and your bangs tend to flip out/curl then you need to make sure they're all nice and flat and even before you trim. Otherwise you may end up with some crooked ass fringe. The stakes are high, guys. Some people like to wet their bangs down beforehand, but I personally am against that because I feel like it's harder to achieve the length I want since my hair is curly and the length between dry hair and wet hair is radically different. Unlike sex, you're going to want to do it dry.

I prefer to use a fine toothed comb, but any comblike or brushlike thing will do the job. Make like Ariel and use a fork if you want!

4) Get caught in the middle.
Some people say to start cutting your bangs at one end and then slowly make your way to the other side, but I say fuck that. I have found that it's easiest -- and you get an overall more even cut -- if you start in the middle and work your way out. Start between your eyebrows and...

5) Take it slow.
Don't just go crazy with the scissors and start chopping off chunks. Now you can think of it like sex - foreplay is good and so is taking it inch by inch. However, when cutting hair, you're going to want to take it in even smaller increments -- centimeter by centimeter. You can always cut more hair off, but you can't magically grow your bangs back to where you were before you messed up. Take it slow! Just cut little bit after little bit off until you achieve the length you want!


next week's how-to of sorts: So You Messed Up Your Bangs & Now You Want to Shave Your Head

Super Hip Update Post!

So! I haven't posted in forever and I am a terrible blogger! BUT. That is all soon to change because the semester from hell is over and it is now: SUMMER! And I have some big plans for this blog. This summer, I am going to start updating biweekly (yes, that's right! TWO updates EVERY week!) and I have all sorts of fun ideas in store. Recipes, outfits, shopping, how-to's, and more!

Stayed tuned, babies.

Until then, have some super hip and current Instagram shots of what I've been up to while I've been away (shots of the fun stuff, anyways... not so much with the photo documentation of my many medical afflictions and nervous breakdowns due to school). My instagram ID is sparklingwhine (which is also my name pretty much everywhere else), so feel free to add me!

I can never decide if my school's campus is gorgeous... or creepy... or both.

 For our one year anniversary John and I took a daytrip to the Newport Aquarium, wherein we posed with fake animals instead of real ones.

We saw some pretty cool alive stuff, too, I guess.

I've developed an obsession with veggie fajitas from Garcia's and eating grapefruit (SO. GOOD.)

And sometimes I cook (alcohol and vegetables are the only necessary food groups, right?)

I had a dog roommate named Leo for about a month! Leo is my housemate's dog and we took care of him while her parents were in Europe. I don't think my plan to get him to like me more than my roommate quite worked out, though, but goddamnit did I try.

Other canines that have been in my life lately: my boyfriend's dogs Frosty (or Voldemort, as I lovingly refer to her after she was shaved) and Peanut. You're a liar if you think you've ever seen something cuter than Peanut.

I saw Sharon Needles perform in Nashville with some friends (she was fabulous, of course) and I went to Thunder Over Louisville with John.

More Thunder!

Working at the radio station (revolution.fm, you can always listen online!) has kept me busy (and my iPod full!)

 Bare nails have not been an option lately. There's too much nail polish in the world (and in my vanity) to go bare!

I got a cute little goodie bag from Dani over at DIYFatshion and I've been finally tacking up my poster collection.

And lately I've been digging side ponytails and (as always) stupid faces.

HAGS! and, as always, thanks for reading!
(Have A Good Summer!)
-Michelle